The Fountain, find your place

Control of your life through insight into your family system.

Do you encounter the same problems repeatedly in your daily life and do you want to shake off an indefinable feeling? Do you often feel guilty and like to keep everyone on side? Are you stuck in an unhealthy relationship or is contact with your parents difficult? How do you learn to deal with this, so you can bring a greater sense of calm to your life?

Stubborn patterns in your life can often be traced back to your family system; the inseverable connection with your family members. Just like nature, this system has invisible laws you’re often unaware of, but which have significant influence on your life. My handbook, full of practical tips and straightforward theories, explains how you can make systemic laws work for you, in order to live life to the full.

Using the fountain as metaphor for the family system, you learn what your own, unique place is. Once in your place, you receive the flow essential to how your life progresses. Unconsciously, many people are not in the right place, meaning they can experience problems in all kinds of areas. This book provides insight into the working of the fountain and gives you more control over your life.

Find your rightful place using The Fountain and allow your life to become better than ever before.

Imagine a beautiful fountain with different trays of water, flowing into each other. Somewhere in the top trays of the fountain are your ancestors. In the layer below, you’ll find your great-grandparents. In the tray beneath your great-grandparents’ tray are your grandparents. The tray under this belongs to your biological father and mother. The tray beneath this is yours, with any brothers and sisters, in order of birth. The tray under yours is meant for your children. Grandchildren can be found in the tray beneath this one. And so the fountain grows endlessly, as long as children are born into your family. To live your life, instead of it being lived for you, it’s essential you stand in your place in the fountain. Every person has his own unique place. This is where you are empowered and receive your individuality and flair.

Often though, you’re not in your rightful place. For various reasons, you may have ascended to a tray above you. You’ve cared for one of your parents, for example. You’ve taken over responsibility that’s not yours. You protected your mother and comforted her, acted as intermediary between your parents or kept things to yourself because your parents were already having such a difficult time. In daily life, this dynamic expresses itself in taking over responsibilities that aren’t yours, but are your friend’s, your boss’s etc.

The moment this happens you no longer receive, but give. Although you may feel big and important, you’re actually building up a deficit. You become needy. The pattern you demonstrate in the family fountain nearly always repeats itself in other aspects of your life. Such as when you make a judgement about one of your parents, for example. Your parents don’t ‘see’ you enough, or you feel better or ‘more’ than your father for instance, and so you disconnect from him. This pattern expresses itself in conflicts with authority and a need to prove yourself.

If you learn to descend to your place in the fountain, you’ll find peace of mind and be able to allow things to go well for you. You let go of what belongs to the other person and face what is yours. In doing so you set boundaries, remain connected and take responsibility for your life. You say yes to what is there (the good and the bad), meaning you’ll experience your own primary emotions. Primary emotions cleanse you within. While descending you also encounter choices regarding guilt and innocence. It’s important to learn to deal with these.

My book provides you with a different perspective so you’re able to look at your life in another way. The fountain can give you access to a positive spiral, created when you manage to make the so-called systemic laws work for you. The principles of ascending and descending help you improve your relationship with yourself and with those around you. You’ll experience a greater sense of calm and gain control over your quality of life.

Els van Steijn

Beautifully crafted hardcover book
Daily shipping with a personal card from Els 

‘When you travel, you take your own patterns with you. I too still have a lot of work to do on myself. During my last trip I read ‘the fountain’. I was intrigued by the theory: the insights help to keep me growing as a human being.’ - Floortje Dessing

‘This book makes me kinder to myself and to others. It gives me a sense of calm.’ - A.H. from Amsterdam

‘You start to look at things and recognise them in a different way. The wonderful thing is that I’ve also now been made aware of things that are good for me.’ - M.W. from Bussum

‘A beautiful and gripping handbook for stability and plenty of shine in your life.’ - l.R. from Santpoort

‘Certain chapters are very painful and really hit home to me as a person. I haven’t often encountered this in a book.’ - E.A. from Rotterdam